Apparently, this is what my life is worth
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If you find a piece of plastic in your Philadelphia cheese in America, you would sue the motherfuckers and get rich. In Norway, all you get is chocolate and vanilla sauce.
So this is what happened:
It was a sunny Sunday in January, and pigeons were singing merrily outside my window. What a lovely day, I thought. I was enjoying my breakfast consisting of black coffee and Wasa with Philadelphia cream cheese and cucumber on the top- until I suddenly discovered this sharp, little devil in my throat. Choke!
Luckily I didn’t die. But I instantly started suffering from Philadelphiaphobia and have been struggling with nightmares and fears of food in little boxes ever since.
So I wrote the company Kraft Foods in Norway ( yes, this happened when I was home for Christmas) a letter to express my feelings including the murder weapon. Of course I was hoping for some kind of compensation, maybe even some money.
But guess what happened?
Yesterday, my mum called. She said ” Darling, you just got a package from Kraft Foods – let me send you a picture of the content. Apparently, they don’t appreciate you as much as I do”.
All I can say is I really look forward to go home and eat this. Thank you Kraft Foods, you make me feel so precious!
By: Celine
Celine@inewyork.no
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