Will you be my Valentine?
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It is that day of the year again… the day some single girls either mysteriously ‘disappear’ for the day as they cannot take the pressure (and in some cases, under the recommendation of their therapist, up their daily prozac dose to better cope with it all) …
whereas other singles meet up with other single girlfriends all dressed in red just to flaunt their single fabulousness..
At work it has been the talk of the week.. what to buy as a present for your loved one or if you have just started going out with someone new, should you get them something at all? Couple massages and dinners seemed to be hot ideas this year.. although my colleague, who is currently on the Nutrisystem 30day diet program, was very concerned about the going to dinner part.. i mean, could she bring her little can of 160cal bean soup to the restaurant?
To be honest, I was relieved that this year the big day fell on a Saturday.. which means you escape the 10-hour torture day at the office when you see big bouquets of red roses popping up on the desks surrounding you.. it becomes like almost a competition.. if you are still sitting at a flower-less desk at 6pm, it is almost as if you are almost branded a loser..
This realisation can be tough for many.. although you do have cases where in order to keep up ‘appearances’ some girls get a surprise delivery from an ‘unknown admirer’ .. where this sometimes translates to them being the sender… (yes it is a tough world we live in today)
My status this year was ‘recently-started-going out-with-someone’ stage..I had a few weeks back ‘ended’ a budding relationship that kicked off at end of 2008.. the reason was that I had experienced a major epiphany as soon as my Continental flight took off from the JFK runway.. admittedly i had experienced some doubts all along, but seriously what had i been thinking!! The guy, let’s call him Michael, was as sweet and nice as can be.. although borderline doormat in some cases, but also a bit too old for my liking.. even with the age difference being same as Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise.. i could maybe have over-looked it, but face it, he was nowhere near being Tom…
The realisation was so impactful that when I came back it was already so over in my head.. of course, this was not case for the poor guy who was more than ready to pick up from where we left off back in 2008…
After a couple of failed attempts to have ‘the-it’s-not-you-it’s-me-chat-but-really-it’s-you-chat’.. mainly due to either bumping into mutual friends or some cocktail event popping up at crunchtime.. I decided to just do the ‘let-it-fizzle-approach’… by the way, just a word of advice for anyone contemplating a breakup that way… in NY that strategy really proved to be the least effective method as guys here just elegantly choose to ignore it and bulldoze on…
In the meantime, I had met someone, Mehdi, with whom there was an instant attraction and and started seeing him… a non-american from the mediterranean regions, who in addition to working was studying for an executive degree.. this combination provided the perfect balance for taking things slow while letting you keep your freedom…
As I had only been seeing this new person recently, two weeks before V-day, one of my best girlfriends from London said she would be in NY for work and do if I didn’t have a hot date lined up for V-day she would fly over earlier so we could go out that night.. as the new guy had not mentioned anything about plans for that day, i told her I was totally up for it…
So about a week before the big day.. Michael suggests he wants to cook me a special home-cooked meal in his apartment despite my severe decrease in responsivenss to his calls and messages and always being too busy to meet for last 6 weeks.. . don’t get me wrong, it was a very sweet offer, but quite surprising considering the ‘cold front’ he had been witnessing from me . . looks like i need to resort back t oPlan A and have ‘the chat’…
Around the same time I tell Mehdi I have friend coming and we are going out for V-day.. he goes all quiet and says he had planned a special surprise night for us that evening.. i said i was sorry and that we just wanted to out us girls, but maybe we could meet up for drink or something..
The day rolls around and by evening i tell Mehdi that it is probably best we just have the v-day celebrations another night as for me the day is not really a big deal and he claimed it was not for him either (which after his reaction i found hard to believe)..
He then get’s very upset and I am witnessing a major case of ruffled feathers… how could i choose to go ut to a club on this day and not be with him.. I have ruined all his surprise plans etc… the following day he refuses to speak to me all day until he finally calls me that evening saying he was so disappointed in me, doesn’t know what to think anymore.. and that he just got back from the store where he was returning the gift he had bought me.. ouch i thought to myself..
So what could I do other than apologise profusely for my insensitivity and that i genuinely didn’t think he thought v-day was such a big deal.. i mean what is it with guys sometimes… they blame girls for always having to make a big deal out of these things then when tables turn, they end up being the ones getting all miffy.. after exensive ego-massaging, there seems to be no way around it….
I cave in to the cheesy-ness of the day and tell him that I have booked a ‘couples massage’ followed by romantic dinner next wk end to make up for it.. it is only then that I seem to be forgiven… seems like guys become just like girls on this particular day…
xoxo
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Liz works in client relations for a large financial institution. She resides on the Upper East Side. Working hours spent on Wall Street, but after the markets close.... say no more!
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April 11th, 2011 at 10:43 pm
8IWriN Got it! Thanks a lot again for helping me out!
April 12th, 2011 at 1:44 am
I’m ipmressed! You’ve managed the almost impossible.