The trump card
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In New York it’s all about having the correct cards - but if you’re endorsed with a poker face, you can fool anyone. Or be fooled yourself.
It didn’t take me long to understand that a business card is a life necessity in New York. There is no occasion where elegantly withdrawing a card (which the withdrawee might, as an example, have ordered on the Internet) from your bag or breast pocket is out of order. The Internet is gold when it comes to procuring business cards quickly and cheaply. For approximately 10 bucks you get 200 of them sent high-speed right to your doorstep. This makes it possible to become what you want, whenever you want. If you feel like being a ”Million dollar image and style consultant” today, you can. I’ve met one. Actually, there was nothing he couldn’t do. When he slipped his card into my hand, while actively engaged in some sleazy attempt at courting, I had no time to think before pulling out my own, freshly printed freelance card. I had received them that very day, and finally felt that the time had come to share my info with the rest of the world (Manhattan). And before I knew it, this disgusting middle-aged million dollar image and style consultant was standing there in front of me with all my private information in his grubby hands.
But after living a year and a half in New York, and receiving a certain amount of calls from a diversity of uninteresting suitors, you tend to get a bit more careful with your handouts. You only show your hand to a set of elect players, and of course you only collect the best cards. The aces. These are good to flash when you need help to acheive stuff you want, or to pass on to friends you owe favors.
To collect enough trump cards it’s important to be present at the right spots. These spots are called ”social networking events.” This is where you try to fool as many as you can into believing that you’ve got a better hand than you really have. For the name of the game is naturally to convince everyone of the great size of your network by introducing as many important people as possible to one another.
Another trick is to develop your talents as a small talker, enabling you to camouflage your true intentions. And Americans do know their small talk; not about the weather, bad wages, football games or bonuses - but about fluff and bagatelles, which at times can be relatively entertaining. All you have to do, is keep your concentration fixed, so you’re not stuck with a joker all night. At these social networking events you can end up meeting movie stars, or people owning half of Soho, if you’re interested. Here business agreements at the value of several million dollars are made.
ACE OF SPADES: My little trump card.
But after a good dosis or two of free champagne your power of judgement and poker face dribbles away together with the stiff spine and the somewhat sophisticated jokes. This is the point where you really should put all your cards in your pocket and run along home. Because it’s at this time of the night when the 63-year old spiritual teacher, wearing a flute around his neck (to stick out), sends you an SMS asking if you want to be his arm candy at a Pimps & Whores party. That’s when it hits you - that maybe business life is not for you - and that you just as well could have stayed home, playing solitaire …
Text: Kjersti Flaa
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